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LOVE YOURSELF FIRST Self Love Sleep Meditation

Intro: 0:00 - 6:06
Self Love Guided Meditation: 6:06 - 26:47
Self Love Affirmations: 26:47 - 3:00:00

Saying the words I love myself, can transform an individual. But these are just words. What if you acted out this self-love? What if you behaved in a manner that proved you love yourself before you even believed it?
I’ve been working with a therapy client for a couple of years now. We’ll call him Max. You see, Max is a towering young man at 6’8”, but the way he slouches his shoulders and sinks his head, you would think he’d be lucky to break 6’. He usually came to session looking dirty, disheveled, and hole ridden clothes, with a scowl on his face that would scare a young child if he looked at them. But he never did look. He never looked anyone in the eye. Trying to avoid what he perceived as eyes of disgust as they looked down upon him. It was obvious that Max was filled with shame without an ounce of love for himself. On top of experiencing abuse as a child and his mother decided to just abandon him. The only reason he was in therapy was because it was court ordered
Max would frequently talk about being so exhausted with life. You could see the exhaustion in his face and his tone of voice, but in reality, he really didn’t do much. He was out of school and had little to no responsibility. He did occasionally help his cousin clean out dirty homes but he explained that his cousin would force him to work with no pay. If Max asked for money his cousin would tell him If I give you money, you are taking food out of my children’s mouths. Is that what you want? Max would just shake his head and look to the floor full of shame. This would happen throughout Max’s life because he didn’t believe he deserved anything better. In fact when anything good ever happened to Max, he would subconsciously punish himself because he believed he didn’t deserve these good things. Max always talked about wanting to eventually move to Alaska to seclude himself from the rest of the world. No friends, no family. There would be no one there to judge him.
Seeing how the shame, was destroying him, I decided to teach him about the psychological term Cognitive Dissonance. Cognitive Dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when your behaviors contradict your beliefs. Because we don’t like this uncomfortable feeling, the more we do this, the more likely we are to change our beliefs so that they match our behavior. As I explained this to Max I told him, if you have the belief that you are completely worthless and unworthy of love, you will act as if that were the case. BUT if you, for some odd reason, decided to behave as if you were worthy of great things in life as if you were deserving of love from others, deserving of love from yourself, even though you didn’t believe it, this would make you quite uncomfortable because it doesn’t match your identify. Max quickly nodded his head in agreement. So, at this point, your mind must make a choice… You either stop acting as if you love yourself, or change your beliefs to I do love myself. I am worthy. And the more you behave in a manner that proves you love yourself, the more likely you are to change those beliefs. You would no longer have to force those behaviors because you would truly love yourself and it will become natural for you.
So I asked Max, If you truly loved yourself, what would you do differently? Now, feeling love for himself was quiet an unusual and uncomfortable feeling for him, so there was some resistance. This is the cognitive dissonance. But in time, he overcame this resistance to love himself first, and what happened was incredible, Max was transformed. You could literally see the love he had for himself grow week by week as he would show up smiling a little more, standing a little taller, dressing a little nicer. He decided to finally get his driver’s license, decided to join a trade school, began taking care of his grandmother and standing up for himself. It seemed counterintuitive but the more responsibility he took on the more excitement and energy he had for life. He even started a relationship with a girl. These were the things he truly wanted. He finally loved himself enough to accept them into his life. Instead of hiding himself from the world, he began to create a life filled with love, a life where he could share this love with the world.
No matter what your circumstances are, you can always love yourself more. When you love yourself first, your life will be transformed. This meditation is about loving yourself first, accepting good in your life, knowing that you deserve it, knowing that you are worthy of an amazing life, and learning to act in a manner that proves you love yourself even though it might feel uncomfortable at first. Listen for 30 nights to see how your life is transformed

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