Hell on Wheels: Retreat from Moscow Rally
Jan 31-Feb 3, 2017
Moscow PA - Buffalo - Memphis - Paris TN


Hell on Wheels: Monterey Car WEEEEEAK Rally
Aug 15-19, 2017
Monterey - Bremerton - Bend - Monterey




WHAT
Long-distance, zero-shrimp rallies for drivers who aren’t screwin’ around

VEHICLES
Anything street-legal, insured, and offensive to Gullwing guys

ENTRY FEE
$425 per car. Get your own room, buy your own food, wipe your own nose

Scoring:
Performance:
+60 for finishing the day
+10-150 for optional checkpoints and challenges en route
+0-150 for creative roadside repairs
+ / - 0-150 for tickets and arrests (how good's your story?)
Who Made Your Hooptie?
-50 for Japanese
-20 for German (but +50 for German diesel)
+100 for Italian
+125 for French
+150 for English
+250 for Warsaw Pact
When Did They Make It?
+75 for 1980s
+100 for 1970s
+170 for 1960s
+200 for 1950s
+250 for pre-1950
How Butt-Turrible Is It?
+0-66 for hooptieness of marque & model
+0-66 for hooptieness of this particular example
+0-66 for hooptieness of driver & passenger
Deductions & Additions
-2500 for showing up in a press loaner
-250 for wearing Pilotis
+300 for bringing a Beetle-pan kit car
+50 for Designer Edition (Bill Blass, Givenchy, Levi’s, etc)
-300 for using phrase “double apex”
+70 for best YouTube post of the day
-0-900 for being a general douchenozzle
+0-100 for junkyard parts gained en route
+0-250 for ridiculous themes &/or outfits

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