Does your husband looks at another woman and you are worried if he's cheating on you? Watch Paul explain the truth about men and why you should worry and should not worry.
I want you to understand something about women and men and that is that men are more conspicuous than women. Women look at other men, and men look at other women -- can't help it. We live in a world where due to our biology and innate in our bodies is the drive to survive and the drive to survive is constantly telling on your mind, watch out.
You don't know what danger is out there. It's also telling your mind, watch out. You never know what opportunity is out there and this means that you have two big functions going on as a result of the drive to survive. One is the material survival of the body and the other part is the procreative drive. It's just below the -- "don't touch me or I'll kill you" drive and this drive to procreate never goes away. This drive to self protect never goes away so this drive to look for opportunity is always there. What do I mean by opportunity, you know what I mean by opportunity.
We're human beings. We're not dogs, I mean we walk down the street and if there's a lot of dogs around and there's a female dog in heat. You're going to see a line of male dogs and
sometimes they're fighting each other over the rights and sometimes they're just in line waiting for their turn. They don't have discrimination. That female is not going to be anybody's wife but human beings are not animals. We have an animal body, we do but we're angels in an animal body. We're endowed with the ability to recognize ourselves for what we truly are which is souls. And so as a result of that, we use our discrimination to tailor our lives according to our society and our society tailors itself according to the dictates
of a principles-based morality, hopefully.
In other words, we don't look at men. Don't look at other women with the idea in our mind, "Whoa, I'm going to get a piece of that." And women aren't looking at other men with, "Maybe, I'm ready." No, but the instinctive compulsion doesn't go away because we have bodies. Now, it doesn't mean it doesn't go away for everybody. There are some souls, some individual men who have so disciplined themselves that they no longer see women as opportunities. Legitimate and sincere priests, monks of any order deeply devout aspirants, they don't see women that way. They see them as their daughters or their sisters or their
mothers.
If your husband looks and he's undisciplined as most men are, he may look twice. If he's somewhat disciplined he may look until he notices you noticing that he's looking and then he'll look away. If he's mad at you, he may look and kind of rub it in your nose that he's looking when he notices you noticing him he'll look so that you notice and if that's the case, then you need to do something about your marriage because there's something wrong with what you're delivering to your marriage and you might say, "No, no he's the one looking. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, he's looking, he's bad." No, that's a very selfish attitude.
You didn't get married to put him on a leash, I hope. I hope you got married so that you could fulfill your promise to him of loving him unconditionally, respecting him, nurturing him because you've got that heart quality that he lacks.
Isn't that why you married him to make him happy?
Is that what you told him?
"I'll make you happy dear. You'll be so happy." If he's looking and making it a point for you to recognize that he's looking then you're not delivering in your marriage and you need to change your ways but if he's just glancing and then looking away, don't project your fears.
Control your mind, understand that that jealousy that you have because there's no better word is part of your drive to survive and it has no place in the marriage so mitigate its effects. Don't say anything. Don't display any emotion. Let it go and recognize that your husband is a man and then give him the kind of loving, I'm not talking about sexual. I'll
give him the kind of loving where he feels there's no woman in this world who loves me more than my wife because if he's not thinking that way that's on you that's not on him.
I know I'm going to get a bunch of comments about this where some women are going to be outraged and I'm going to go, "Man, you're a typical fashion a-hole and you are just looking at it from a man's point of view." No, I'm not. I'm looking at it objectively and if you're
not looking at it the way I'm looking at it then you're the one who's got the problems and it's true. If you have that problem and your husband is looking at other women, your problems going to get is aspirated because you're building up a cycle between you of mistrust, misunderstanding and it's not going to work.
Watch the video for more.
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When Your Husband Looks At Another Woman | Paul Friedman
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