10 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom!. These are also mistakes that I had made and this video covers things that I learnt and advice based on my personal experience.
1. Take all advice with a pinch of salt: You will receive advice and a lot of it, but what may work for one baby may not work for another, so take all advice with a pinch of salt. So listen to all advice but try out and see what works for your baby. It's not that one way is right and other is wrong, the most important thing is to figure out what works for your baby.
2. Know that it's a lot of work: In first few months, it will be busy and will hardly get 4-6 hours stretch of sleep. Motherhood is a 24/7 job either food/nap/diaper change/tummy time/massage/bath/playtime and the list goes on. This is apart from the daily chores and personal care. Especially if you are a pumping mom, then to this list you need to add time for pumping and your pumping time may not match with babies feeding time and the list goes on. Also, you need to wash all those pump parts. But remember you have to be optimistic and know that this too shall pass. First 6 months, until they start eating solids will be hard, this will also be the time when you start reducing the number of pumps, so it gets much more manageable, so try to keep your outside activities to a minimum in those initial months.
3. Make time for yourself: Well, based on the number of things that need to be done for a baby in a day, there will be very less time in the day, but what I mean by making time for yourself means do something in a day that will help you center and keep our sanity. Throughout the day you will be running around so this must be the time you should relax. Usually for mothers, this is the time babies are sleeping or this could be the time when you can connect with other mothers or when the babies are playing in jumparoo. Having a baby is a full-time job, you will always love your child, even when you are 40. Talk to friends, family or anyone who will help you relax.
4. Take lots of pictures of the baby: sometimes in those initial months you will be so caught up and may not be able to cherish the time with the baby, but take lot of pictures and videos of the baby, watching these videos later will help you cherish and relive these moments. I used to watch my daughter's pictures/videos at work or while pumping at work to help me relax.
5. Ask for help: Be it your spouse, mom or mother-in-law, ask for help when you need, esp. those middle of the night (MOTN) pumping, as your parent/spouse to feed so you can get some more sleep. Ask parents/in-laws to help you with chores. Don't try to do everything, sleep when the baby sleeps. Cleaning can wait, your house can be disorganized. The most important thing is to take care of the babies in those first months, so cut yourself some slack to keep your sanity. If you ever feel depressed, talk to your doctor for medical advice.
6. Don't compare: Each mother is different and so is each baby. Also, each mother's pregnancy, delivery experience is different for each mother, so don't compare your experiences with other mothers or compare your baby with others. Some babies will talk fast, some will walk fast and some will take time, all are ok. Don't worry too much. Remember the only person who knows your baby the most is you, not your parents, not your pediatrician, not your relatives but you and your spouse, as you see them every day and watch them closely. Even when you have done all the research, watched all the videos, talked to all the people you know, there will be a lot of things you will not know about parenting, and that's ok. Be proud of yourself.
7. Manage your expectations: Everything that you may expect during your pregnancy about your delivery may not happen as you anticipate. In first days, you go through physiological, emotional and psychological changes: engorgement, latching issues, milk supply issues, jaundice and the list goes on. As mothers we go through a lot and hold ourselves to high expectations, but when things don't happen as planned, it is important to manage your expectations. The most important question is baby happy and healthy.
8. Each day will be different
9. There will be pain during postpartum recovery
10. You will ask yourself asking lot of questions: Are they eating right, eating well, pooping well, am I a good mother. The fact that you are asking these means that you are a good mother.
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