The albatross around Volkswagen’s neck, which we know and love as ‘Dieselgate’, is certainly not flying away any time soon. The latest uplifting development there is in this report.
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Germany: a court this week happily ruled that former Volkswagen CEO, Martin Winterkorn, will stand trial on fraud charges linked to the company’s global emissions crimes, where it knowingly put profit ahead of human health, and said ‘hey, love us anyway’. Which worked out so well for them, through the prism of retrospectivity.
To date, Volkswagen has paid more than 30 billion Euros (which is about $50 billion in Shitsvillian micro-pesos) in penalties and settlements for being such fine, outstanding citizens and paragons of global virtue, etc.
They dropped their reputation in the sewer, as a consequence of these careful decisions approved at the highest level, which remains a real ‘surprise and delight’ event for a reporter such as me.
Imagine how close we’d be to having a therapeutic goods administration-approved zombie-pandemic-curing vaccine with that kind of spare cash to throw at it. Just saying… Like, what can’t you cure or solve, for 30 billion Euros?
After five years of carefully thinking this through, a three-judge panel in beautiful downtown Braunschweig in Volkswagen's neck of the woods (Lower Saxony) ruled that car buyers suffered a financial loss when they bought a car without being aware it was equipped with the illegal software.
Such a paradox. It’s not like they could have put: “New Golf diesel, now with loss-ensuring illegal code to pump up the toxicity” in the brochure. Not even in the fine print. Epicurus could have had a field day with that, except of course he’s been dead for 2360-ish years...
The court in Bratwurst found a (quote) “predominant likelihood” of conviction in the fraud charge. Ze Chermans are quite precise like that. Look at how well they run their railways. It’s amazing. They’re good at predicting the foreseeable future. Just saying.
The three wise Cherman judges said four other defendants would face trial on fraud charges connected to aggravated tax evasion and illegal advertising. Dates for a trial are yet to be set.
They hate tax evasion. Courts, and governments. Just ask Wesley Snipes. They have no sense of humour whatsoever, on this stuff. To regulators, tax evasion is worse than murder.
Public trials are always fun, too, which Big Marty’s is apparently set to be. There’s really nothing a former corporate rockstar loves more than having his dirty laundry oxygenated on the nightly news for Fritz and Helga to watch, after their 12-hour shift at the local chicken processing plant.
