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There are two types of motivation: that which drives you toward your goals or rewards, and that which pushes you away from discomfort or expected unpleasantness. Most people have a tendency for one or the other of them - but the most productive, engaged people, by far, are those who are toward-motivated. A toward-motivated person is driven by the future: by what they want and enjoy and by the possibilities a situation might hold. Away-motivated people, by contrast, are motivated by avoidance of "pain": away from what they don't like, from what they see as problems, or from what seems risky or threatening in a situation. A toward-motivated person may face the same difficulties or risks as one who is away-from-motivated - but the positive-motivated individual can translate those hurdles into opportunities, into a vision of better things that in turn can fuel their efforts to make that vision a reality.
As a coach, you can often help an away-motivated person to change their direction using the technique of Reflective Listening. Reflective listening involves re-translating a person's away-from complaints back to them phrased as a statement of toward motivation. In other words, when they say, "I don't like the way we do this," you respond, "So what you're saying is that you'd like us all to work together on accomplishing this goal in a more productive way." It isn't really what they said, technically; but it is a way of looking at what is implied by what their statement. With reflective listening, over time you can begin to see a real change in the way a person sees things, by teaching them to view the world with a greater sense of possibility and personal opportunity.
