Does your wife always yell at you? Do you think it's normal? How do you deal with that? Watch Paul talks about this issue and how you can handle that.

I'm going to help you with this two-sided problem. One side is about why she's yelling at you, and the other side is about why it's bothering you. First, the reason why it's bothering you is because of your own personal attachment and expectations. If she's "yelling at you" and I'm going to put
that in quotes and you're listening and trying to feel and understand what's going on for her using compassion rather than being a victim, and I don't say that in a negative term, but if you're feeling attacked then you're being the victim.

But if you look past that and you go, "Wow, what's going on," and if you employ your love for her and you go, "What's going on?" Because you're not even feeling at all attacked, you will touch her heart and the noise of the yelling is like static. You no longer even hear because you're trying to be understanding because you're tapping into your heart and you're putting her needs above your sensitivity, hard to hear maybe. You might even be saying, "No, you have no idea. You
don't understand." And I'm going to tell you, "Yes, I do," and you should listen to this again because what I'm telling you is the truth.

There's another part, why is she yelling?
Why do people yell?

1. Are you yelling back?

If you stop, there's no reason for you to yell back. You're in charge of you just because
someone is abusing you doesn't mean you have to abuse them. You're an independent individual, you have free choice. You could choose to let someone act in any way they want and you don't have to react so don't yell back, that's one.

2. Why is she frustrated?

What is it about your behavior that might just need a little bit of a tweak?
Then she won't yell at you, what's going on?

As soon as I hear one spouse talking about yelling I already know you're both yelling that should be abolished from your marriage and you can't get her to abolish it but you can abolish your end of it where hers will go down by a minimum of 80% initially right off the bat. The other 20% will come over time as you become better and better at not reacting. You must take responsibility for this not that it's your fault but it's your problem.

This is a problem you're having so take responsibility for behaving according to principles that you established for yourself that are not reactive. Again, you get to behave any way you want regardless of how someone treats you.

How many people have stolen from you in your life?
Does that then give you permission to steal from them or others?

Of course not, you have to be independent in your thinking. You should live your life according to principles that are important to you regardless of how other people behave towards you or with you including your wife.

More importantly, you got married in order to be happier. You got married in order to experience
love. You're so far off track right now -- it's ridiculous. You're not even close to that happening. You need to learn how to be married. You need to learn about marriage. You need to learn
about women. You need to learn about soul and mind and body. You need to learn this whole host of subjects that all feed into creating the marriage that you first envisioned. It's an
interesting thing. All of us get married with this expectation that, "Okay, now I'm married." Here the expression, the wedding day is the happiest day of a woman's life.

Are you kidding me right now?

In other words, what that is saying is from there on it's downhill -- that's insane. Even if you buy a sweater you have to take care of it, there's maintenance involved.

Did you know about any maintenance when you got married?

So here you have the most complex part of your life, marriage that's supposed to satisfy your heart, mind, and soul and there's nothing that you're responsible for that to happen. Identify
those things for me if you will. I can identify those things for you. I wrote two books about it. Don't stop here. Get one of my books so you could see what marriage is all about. I can't give it to you in a video.

These books are coupled a hundred pages long and they're just information. There's hardly any repetition. If you learn these things it'll change you, it'll change your life, it'll change your marriage. It's worth it, it's worth it. If your marriage was on the verge of collapse I would say you need to take the course for men that we offer but if all you're concerned with right now is your wife yelling at you all the time. Chances are you don't need that but be realistic. Marriage again is supposed to be the happiest component of your life not even close to other things.

Watch the video for more.

#anger #angermanagement #angermngt #frustrated #frustratedwoman #marriageissues

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