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8 . phosphene
Phosphene
Kerosene
Another night, amphetamine
No sleep, cannot dream
Day and night not operating
My heart is pulsing
Beating, throbbing
Palms sweaty, no relaxing
Is it morning?
Eyes shut, head racing to the finish line of breaking me down
Submerged, can’t get back up, in my own thoughts I’ll drown
Everything at once, anxiety is boiling
Can’t control, this head is spinning out
I’m terrified of just being alive
Everything at once, anxiety at boiling point
It won’t go away, every day, follows me everywhere
Dreaming all day of a way out of this nightmare
Fear has no face, no consciousness
Terrified of nothing and it’s getting worse
Why do I always have to feel like this?
This dread of just being alive
Terrified of nothing, that’s what’s terrifying
Cocaine
Nicotine
Cardiac compromising
Skin faint, blood dropping
That sinking feeling covers me
My eyes are burning
Vision, blurring
My last breath is going
Wheezing and choking
Spitting in my face
Searing in my veins
Mental shattering
Pull me back inside
Nowhere for me to hide
![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_1XIdZYzMsA/maxresdefault.jpg)