’Permission to Evaporate’ Composed by Joseph Tawadros.
Performed by Joseph Tawadros (Oud)
James Tawadros (Riqq)
The Sydney Symphony Orchestra Conducted by Benjamin Northey.
Orchestral arrangement by Jules Buckley.
Performed at the Sydney Opera House on June 21, 2019

Composer notes:
I wrote ‘Permission to Evaporate’ after both my parents passed away; my Mother in 2012 and my Father a year later. It was a very tough time for me.
A period of emotional bombardment and confusion, and at such a time, I did not know what to feel or was supposed to feel after such great losses.
I remember sitting in my garden, feeling the breeze on my face and wishing that I would evaporate with it. To escape the familiar, and to taste a moment of freedom which was held back by the daily commitments which I could not neglect at the time. It was that which I was seeking Permission from.
Sometimes we really have to dig deep to get through the day, and even in these tough times, people still have expectations of you, be it work or family. You don’t want to let people down, but it’s those things that may get in the way of us nurturing our own spirit and it is easier to let ourselves down rather than others.
Sometimes we just need that space, a time to regather, to burn, to grieve and to learn. It’s not just about healing but dealing, trying to fill the void of love that was taken from you.
Permission to Evaporate is quite a melancholic piece, but there is a lot of hope and healing in this composition and I hope the music connects with those who are wounded to offer them some solace, or at the very least a sonic prayer - and the reassurance that they are not alone ❤️


Unexpectedly, It disappeared one night –
This need of mine;
This need to be,
This need to make it right,
The necessity to see,
To know, to care, to find and understand,
To feel, to give, to make, to doubt,
To laugh or weep,
To keep on being me –
The whole thing just wore out,
And I was free,
It came to be, it fell out of the blue – Permission to evaporate came through.

I suddenly became thin air, Or even less;
Neither here nor there,
But everywhere I guess, And nowhere too.
I turned to spirit;
The perfect shooting-through.
Beyond all space and time,
A lifetime’s wear and tear
Was made sublime.

A quick and airy little gasp was done As up I went into the moon and sun,
Like some fading floating song.
It made such perfect sense;
No stain, no trace, no evidence.
Not need to leave or to belong.
No need to think or calculate;
I simply just accepted it for free.
What life had given me –
Permission to evaporate.

- Michael Leunig based on a theme by Joseph Tawadros

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