Do you feel like your wife hates you and you have no idea what to do? You've come to the right place. If you are in a situation where your wife has become angry, cold, or distant; or completely shut you off, then you're probably wondering: "What is it that I have done? How did it get this way? And more than anything, is it going to be like this for the rest of our marriage?" You don't know if you can live like this for the rest of your marriage. You'd much rather go back to the way things used to be; or to a better marriage than you ever had before. But right now you don't even know if that's possible because she is so closed off from you.
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In this video, I'm going to ask you a few questions to help you determine the root of your wife's behaviors (i.e. Why is she acting this way right now?) What I can tell you is that there is hope for your marriage. There is a way to get your marriage back, to even better than it used to be, but it does involve some investigation.
That's what we're going to do here.
Also, take a quick minute to like and subscribe to the Marriage Helper YouTube channel. Typically, when there's “stuff” going on in your marriage it's not just one thing. It's not just that your wife is angry at you, but there are probably some other things going on. So, be sure to like and subscribe to see the rest of our videos; which, can help you with other things that might be going on as well.
Without further ado, here's question number one: Is there anything currently going on in your wife's life that might make her a little more distant? Is there something going on with her work, her family, her friends, or the kids that's really stressful for her right now? Maybe she's undergoing something where she doesn't feel appreciated. Maybe there have been cutbacks at her job. Maybe she's just so overwhelmed with everything at home that she can't juggle it all anymore; she's become resentful of the situation. Even if it's not you it may just be the situation she's in. Maybe she feels like she needs help and she doesn't know where to turn to get it. There are tons of different things that could be going on, externally from your marriage, that could be affecting the way your wife is acting towards you- now.
So, consider that. Think if there might be anything else contributing to her actions. If there is, that might be one part of the puzzle.
The next thing I want you to think of is: Is there anything that you have done toward your wife, said to your wife, or something similar that may have caused her to become more distant, angry, or resentful? For example, have you been treating your wife more like a child than your equal? Have you been telling her what she needs to do; what she can and can't spend money on? Have you been telling her where she can spend her time, what she needs to believe, or how she needs to act? If so, then it very well could be that your wife feels controlled. She could be feeling sick of it and she might resent you for it. She feels like she can't be her own person anymore. And because of that, she's distanced herself in order to have some control over her own life. Because ultimately, that's what she wants.
The second thing to consider is: Have you told your friends, your family, your kids, social media, or whatever it might be things that your wife told you in confidence? Maybe she shared with you something she's struggling with and you went and decided to tell a bunch of other people. But, she only wanted to confide in you. If so, then that could be one reason that your wife has started to distance herself from you. That is, she doesn't feel like she can trust you. Your wife wants someone she can trust; someone she can go to who will keep her secrets safe. She wants someone who will walk with her through it- not just tell her what she needs to do or tell everyone else what she's going through. She needs someone who will be her side-by-side support and not blast everything to the world.
