credits to BetelNut Bali for the recording
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credits to Ubud Writers & Readers Festival for the event
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content of the poetry is Mine
(c) 2017 Virginia Helzainka

If boys don’t cry
Girls don’t shout
‘Cause boys are strong
And girls are weak

If boys get tattoo
Girls get contour
‘Cause boys are wild
And girls are… polite

If boys have short hair
Girls have long hair
As boys have pants
And girls have skirt

Blue black
Pink white
Everything’s must be classified
Everything’s must be categorized

Customize isn’t a choice
You don’t follow, you don’t count
You don’t follow, you are not recognized
That’s what I was thought as a girl
To be seen
As a real girl
As a girl who ended up isn’t so girly,
here’s what I learned

One,
While boys learn how not to cry
Girls are crying because of them
We are used to hear to say ‘it’s okay to cry’
and let him to pass by
but nu-uh
Instead of getting a headache
I am getting up for a proof
I’ll wall up to you and roar in fierce
What you’ll miss
‘Cause I am well damn worth it
And for that I got named “bitch”

Two,
There are two kinds of girls,
Those who fancy natural look
And those who’s full on glam up glitters
Both are different yet the same
And both would agree that
A girl who doesn’t paint her lips
Who isn’t walking on tip toes
Who doesn’t wrapped up her curves tight
Are nothing but a stand-up comedy material,
An extra sidekick character,
in a phase,
confused,
lost.
'look at that girl over there,
hopefully puberty hits her soon enough aye'
In the most clear headed mind I say
I don’t want to doll up to show up
I am my own picture
I am my own picture
I am my own picture
And for that they ditched me from ‘girly’ category


Three,
Mom’s least favourite outfit is my most favourite
But she never says a thing
When I showed up with big smile and new hair
My friends laughed, shocked, disappointed
'why Virgi? did someone broke your heart?
what happened to you? now you look like a b-
No words spilled from me yet,
Yet I am showered with “boy” stamps
All over my face
if you must know,
I will wear my new plaid
I will wear my bow tie
I will get the “boy” cut if I want
I am my own picture

Go ditch me from the category
if there's only one way to describe me
Go call do me bitch
if that's the only that you have in mind
when I know myself
when I know that I'm not just your cherry on top
that I am the whole cake
Go call me that, I am my own picture

I am my own colour
I am not a math you can fit in a column
I am my own picture
if you're looking for a girl to match your check list
I am not the one
‘Cause my lists are countless
my lists are numberless
I am my own picture

I will wear anything what I think that's fine
I will wear a bow tie
I will get the “boy” cut if I want
And I will look damn good


(c) 2017 copyright
COCKTAIL, WAVES & ARCHER
by Virginia Helzainka

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