Song: Gee, Officer Krupke!
Artist: Various Artists (Kevin Csolak, John Michael Fiumara, Jess LeProtto, Ben Cook, Myles Erlick, Patrick Higgins & Kyle Allen)
Album: West Side Story (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Year: 2021
Lyrics
[Intro (spoken): Mouthpiece]
Oh, look at ya's, ya feckless friggin' disappointments
Now gimme one good reason I shouldn't throw the book atcha
[Verse 1: Diesel, Big Deal & A-Rab]
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!
[Pre-Chorus 1: Diesel]
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down insidе us there is good!
[A-Rab]
Therе is good!
[Chorus: Jets]
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!
[Refrain (spoken): Mouthpiece & Diesel]
Aw, that's a touchin' good story
Lemme tell it to the world!
Just tell it to the judge
[Verse 2: Diesel]
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!
[Pre-Chorus 2: Balkan]
Right!
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed!
[Chorus: Jets & Diesel]
I'm disturbed!
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed
[Refrain (spoken): Balkan, Diesel & Mouthpiece]
Hear ye, hear ye! In the opinion of this court, the boy is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived
So take this nut to a headshrinker
Oh, why not?
[Verse 3: Diesel]
My father is a bastard
My ma's an S.O.B
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
[Pre-Chorus 3: A-Rab]
Yes!
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick!
[Chorus: Jets & Diesel]
I am sick!
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're sociologically sick!
[Refrain (spoken): A-Rab, Balkan, & Mouthpiece]
In my professional opinion, what we got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent
And juvenile delinquency is a social disease!
Ew, Diesel, you got a social disease?
Bring him to a social worker!
Wait, can I catch it by touching him?
[Diesel]
Dear....
[Verse 4: Baby John & Jets]
Kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a schmuck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloriosky! That's why I'm a jerk!
[Pre-Chorus 4: Big Deal]
Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
[Chorus: Jets & Baby John]
I'm no good!
We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!
[Bridge: Jets (individual)]
[Mouthpiece]
The trouble is he's crazy
[Balkan]
The trouble is he drinks
[A-Rab]
The trouble is he's lazy
[Big Deal]
The trouble is he stinks
[Snowboy]
The trouble is he's growing
[Baby John]
The trouble is he's grown
[Outro: Jets & Diesel]
Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!
History
After Anybodys (Iris Menas) assaults an officer in the police station and runs out, Officer Krupke (Brian D'Arcy James) locks the rest of the Jets in an office and chases after her. Left alone, the Jets trash the office while parodying all the social institutions which are supposed to be helping them.
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