This is our entry for the 2024 WoT Idol Contest hosted by The Dusty Wheel YouTube channel. WoT Idol features Wheel of Time related song parodies. This entry is a parody of the entire contest - characters from the books/show are taking part in their own in-world contest. Parts of 3 different songs are featured and the parody lyrics are listed below. A 90 second version of the parody is followed by the whole parody. Let us know which song is your favorite in the comments.
0:00 90 Second Highlight Version of the Parody
1:31 Full Parody
2:06 Full Nynaeve Song
3:41 Full Elayne Song
5:10 Full Moiraine Song
Song #1 – Personal Wisdom (Based on "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode)
Your own personal Wisdom
Someone to watch your back
Someone who tracks
Your own personal Wisdom
Someone to Heal your wounds
Someone who soothes
Oiling your sword
I never get bored
Oh my Lord!
Should win an award
Grab my herbs and powder
I'll show you I'm a Wilder
Song #2 – I Miss The Livery (Based on "I Miss the Misery" by Halestorm)
I've been a mess since I came
I've had to mop night and day
Won't let me keep any lace
I miss my gowns and my maids
The damp here keeps me awake
I need shampoo
I miss the bath tub
The way they bathe me
I miss the grooming
The way that they dressed me
Miss the posh balls
And the Grand Hall
I miss carriage rides
Don't miss Galad at all
I like my brand new roommate
And her ex is into me
I keep on smoothing my skirts
I don't know why, I miss the livery
Song #3 – Moiraine (Based on "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton)
If you wanna save the world, you should know I'm your girl, Moiraine
I might not be near, but I've got Eyes-and-Ears, Moiraine
I can't lie, I can't lie, Aes Sedai
Moiraine
Though my Warder is hot, I never took that shot, Moraine
It's the Watcher of Seals, that makes me squeal, Moiraine
I can't lie, I can't lie, Aes Sedai
Moiraine
