From googling "how to roll a cigarette" in a pub toilet during freshers week, to the immortal "Rah, where's my baccy?", life is full of tough questions.

One of these tough questions is "who am I?" or, more specifically, "is it weird that I spend 7 hours a day playing fifa in a 2001 Arsenal shirt, when my dad has enough money to buy Arsenal itself?".

Up north for Uni, down south after graduating, knows at least 6 Dave verses off by heart, pays a premium to buy clothes that have been worn by 18 different individuals since 2002, lives in a "shithole" but it's calm because it's easier for the dealer, plus their other mates live in Clapham and they're chill with you staying over if you supply the k.

The work in the city offer from dad's mate Roger will always be there, but it's on the back burner for now as it's worth giving another 3-4 years of effort into networking at canal-boat raves in hackney and taking C at christmas with your cousins while waiting for the soundcloud to pop off.

follow me on IG and tiktok @sansbeanstalk , stream the song on Spotify, like it, share it, send me a DM picture of you eating a madras or something - anything.

If you're still reading, comment with your favourite double barrelled posh name. Mine is Robinson Fruit-shoot

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