All my life I've been cycling through periods of activity and functioning followed by what I call 'The Big Brain Freeze'. Not knowing I was autistic I had always put my lumpy energy down to me getting over-excited and over-doing it then burning out (adrenal fatigue) and then needing a long time to rest. I thought that maybe I'd become addicted to stress, used up all my brain chemicals or maybe was just failing at being a human. But then I got my diagnosis and the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. What I've been experiencing is the traumatising reality that is life with a monotropic mindset and a strong life-sustaining preference for being alone. These two things don't marry up well with what most people consider a 'normal' life and therein lies the problem.
This is part one of a two-part video series explaining what this feels like and manifests as for me.
