Kenny wins the epic battle of good versus evil on the Holy Sony PSP.
"Best Friends Forever" S09
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#SouthPark #SouthParkS09
INT. HBC NEWS ROOM -
NEWS REPORTER
We've just received word that Kenny
McCormick has passed away. The
debate still rages on in America...
But at least now... Kenny is in a
much more peaceful place.
INT. HEAVEN - DAY
In our same old wide shot of the inside of the palace,
Angels all run and scream holding swords.
ANGELS
(screaming, chaos)
RANDOM ANGEL
SATAN'S ARMY HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE
GATE!
RANDOM ANGEL #2
WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!
EXT. HEAVEN - BATTLEFIELD VIEW BALCONY
BEHIND MICHAEL as we see the charging hordes in the far off
distance through the broken gate.
MICHAEL
Send all troops to the battlefield!
I will command as best I can!!
GABRIEL
MICHAEL!!! MICHAEL!!! The humans
finally did the right thing!
Gabriel and Uriel fly down holding Kenny.
MICHAEL
Oh my God... They killed Kenny! Get
him into the command station!
Hurry!
Gabriel and Uriel fly Kenny into the chair.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Satan's army charges!!! Tell our
troops what to do, Kenny!
Kenny starts playing the game.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
So it begins!!! Now we shall see
the final battle between heaven and
hell PLAY OUT!!!
Cut to Kenny, as the DRAMATIC MUSIC suddenly cuts out as he
starts to play the game and all we hear are the shitty VIDEO
GAME SOUNDS.
Stay on Michael with Kenny visible in the chair in the
background as we HEAR CHARGING FORCES, and then the CLASH OF
WEAPONS.
Michael just stands there with eyes darting all around.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
YES! GOOD KENNY! THE ANGEL
SPEARMEN ARE TAKING OUT THEIR DEMON
SOULRIPPERS!
(WATCHING)
OH! THE CALVARY ANGELS ARE CLASHING
WITH THEIR BLACK KNIGHTS!!! Oh my
God... Oh my God this battle is
EPIC!!!
(watches for a
while)
Cut back to Kenny playing the game.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
They're bringing in their demon
dragons! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THEM!
(watches for a
while)
My God This is even bigger than the
final battle in Lord of The Rings
movie!!! It's like, ten times
better than that battle!!!
Cut back to Kenny playing the game.
INT. HELL - NIGHT
Satan is watching in his crystal ball.
SATAN
No... NOOO!!! How are we losing?!
SPY ANGEL
The child's soul is in heaven! God
has his secret weapon!
SATAN
FULL RETREAT!!!
BRUTIS
PATIENCE MY LORD!!!!
SATAN
NO, KEVIN!!! That's it! I'm
breaking up with you!!!
Satan shoots rays at Brutis and he flies back and smashes to
his death against the wall.
EXT. HEAVEN - BATTLEFIELD VIEW BALCONY
Back to the shot of Michael on the balcony looking toward
camera with Kenny in the chair behind him.
MICHAEL
YES! YES KENNY! SATAN'S FORCES ARE
RETREATING!!! THIS IS TRULY A SIGHT
TO BEHOLD, OH I WISH I HAD A CAMCORDER!
Cut to Kenny who finishes playing the game.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
WE HAVE DONE IT!!! WE HAVE DEFEATED
THE ARMIES OF SATAN!
Now, finally we cut down to the battlefield with the castle
visible in the background. About fifteen angels stand
there, holding their swords up in victory and hopping up and
down.
ANGELS
Yeaaaaaa...
Back up on top, a bunch more bloodied and beaten angels with
weapons fly down to Kenny and Michael.
PETER
Kenny... Bless your soul. You have
saved all of heaven!
MICHAEL
Yes, Kenny. And To thank you for
what you have done, we are going to
do give you a very special gift.
For saving the entire universe from
the forces of evil we give you this--
Two angels pull in a large white Keanu Reeves statue.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Keanu Reeves statue.
Congratulations.
The angels all golf clap as Kenny looks at the statue.
