Relationships are happier when we say what we really think. Watch this X
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To Read:
Why don’t we tell people what we really think?
What is strange in this society is that it seems to be more normal to show our discontentment than it is to say them.
Our body language, our demeanour, even the way we look at someone are all huge sign posts of how unhappy we are with them. Even when we say nothing, we’re shouting our discontentment very clearly through our actions.
What happens is that the other person, can feel we’re upset but they’re not quite sure why or can maybe guess or maybe they really have no idea at all. So what then happens, is that they become defensive or withdraw even more and the likelihood of them giving us what we want… is even lower!
When we do say something, it usually isn’t our true thoughts. We’d say, “Why can’t you be nicer to me?” instead of, “It hurts me when you say things like that, and I don’t know if you realise it but your words have an impact on my confidence.”
We’d say, “You never have time for me!” instead of “I appreciate all that you do for me, and I just to say that when you make time for us to go on a holiday together, it makes me feel loved and very happy. That’s why I say I want more time together.”
When we examine our feelings of discontentment or unhappiness, it usually is because we feel a certain way, not because of how people are.
For example, if someone shouts at you all the time but you don’t mind, then it’s not even an issue at all.
It’s only because we feel hurt, or disappointed or unappreciated or unloved or not understood that we would have all these feelings of discontentment towards someone, so it is up to us to verbalise to them why we would prefer things to be different.
And if they still don’t understand, we have to figure out how to explain it to them in their language. Otherwise, it’s going to be a miserable relationship.
We need to take responsibility for what we want, instead of feeling upset that things and people aren’t the way we think they should be.
Communicating our thoughts clearly and with compassion is something that can really help us with our happiness. Be happy, always!
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