A reflection on one of the most damaging kinds of manipulation used by abusers: shaming. Where real-life cases are cited, details may be altered to preserve anonymity.
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0:00 a common emotion
1:28 defining shame
1:51 shame vs guilt
3:00 psychological consequences
5:50 private shame
8:40 common sources of shame
14:15 retraining the brain
20:15 judging what's acceptable
21:34 public shame
22:27 tyranny of the majority
23:04 coming out
25:05 some shame-inducing groups
30:23 a faceless mob?
32:30 shaming by stealth
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opening quote:
The shame-bound individual is like a fox
that’s been trained to hunt itself to exhaustion
while the hounds sit back and enjoy the show.
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subtitles
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
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references and reading:
Feiring, C., Taska, L. and Lewis, M. (2002) Adjustment following sexual abuse discovery: The role of shame and attributional style. Developmental Psychology 38 (1), pp.79-92.
Harper, F. W. K. and Arias, I. (2004) The role of shame in predicting adult anger and depressive symptoms among victims of child psychological maltreatment. Journal of Family Violence 19 (6), pp.367–375
Joireman, J. (2004) Empathy and the self-absorption paradox II: self-rumination and self-reflection as mediators between shame, guilt, and empathy. Self and Identity, 3 (1), pp.225-238
Lewis, H.B. (1971) Shame and guilt in neurosis. New York: International Universities Press
Marschall, D., Sanftner, J. and Tangney, J. P. (1994) The State Shame and Guilt Scale. Fairfax: George Mason University.
Mill, J.S. (1859) On liberty.
Sznycer, D. et al (2018) Cross-cultural invariances in the architecture of shame. PNAS 115 (39) pp.9702-9707
Tangney, J.P. and Tracy, J.L. (2012) Self-conscious emotions. In Leary M. and Tangney, J.P. (eds.), Handbook of self and identity (2nd ed., pp.446-478). New York: Guilford Press
Tangney, J.P., Tracy, J.L. and Robins, R.W. (eds.) (2007) The self-conscious emotions: theory and research. New York: Guildford Press
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painting:
Titian (c.1559–1575) The death of Actaeon
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music © TheraminTrees
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