“Telling people you are solo poly when you're already in a relationship and not talking to your partner about it first, is a bit of a dick move,” Kai Cheng Thom advises. “[If only] their partner had talked to them about it first. That conversation might still have been painful or difficult, but it might have been more honest and might have felt more caring and compassionate.”

It’s our latest in the video series “Ask Kai: Quickies,” offering relationship advice for those in a hurry.

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