A lot of it has to do with the fact that your husband is a man and men are not as connected to their feelings as women are. And sometimes we have to make allowances but it's not so easy so I'm going to give you some ideas for how to get him to comfort you and I'm going to share with you some things that have the opposite effect. In other words, if you do certain things, it will tend to make him less comforting to you because men are uncomfortable with their own feelings and with your feelings as well, and it's built-in. It's innate to a man because biologically, he's sort of designed you might say to be a practical defender, sort of a warrior. Warriors are always on the edge of war of fighting for you, of defending you, of being there for you and that's biologically and it translates into our modern times in different ways where men want to provide for their family. They want to beat up the guy who is threatening his family by hitting on his wife, things like that. And so, a woman is forced to make some concessions in this area to allow her husband to be who he is and not be impacted, not feel like you're being let down. How do you do that? Well, the things that you should not do is you shouldn't come to him asking to be comforted in a way where he's going to feel pushed away because of men's tendencies what you want to do is come to him in a demure way where you're hurting but you're not so caught up in self-pity that he's afraid of falling into that self-pity trap. You can do that without expressing the need but by showing with body language where maybe you have your head hanging down, sadness where his tendency is going to be to ask.
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"My Husband Doesn't Know How To Comfort Me" | Paul Friedman
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