Dear Sirs, Mamograms and Sam I Ams
To whom it may concern and other pleasantries. It is my pleasure to announce to you a feat of tedium so gargantuan yet so mindboggingly infinitesimal it chicken-fries the brain and makes you long for a time before 2016, so you can shake the bricks out of a young artist and scream in his innocent and cherubishly adorable face “DON”T DO IT, DON”T DO DEADPOOL!”
But, yet, alas, a fool must persist in his folly.
I will let the plumbers do the math and figure out how many frames it takes before a man goes mad, I will let the geologists decide if pretending to make a film while filming a film while watching a film is reality distilled to its purest essence. The baristas can debate whether devoting so much time and energy on a film about a man so ugly on the outside that he kills a bunch of people is worth literally anything. The only certain certainty is a film certainly was made.
A film so epic it falls somewhere between Ben Hur and Shakes the Clown. A film so self-centered it has cured impetigo. A film so beautiful it looks up it’s own skirt. A film so badass you should be hearing trumpets blast in honor of its arrival. A film so meaningful it finally answers the riddle of whether Ryan Reynolds even needs to be in a Ryan Reynolds movie.
But is it really a film or is it a cry for companionship, before we celebrate the creator of the Greatest Brick Film That Will Ever Be Made let this be a lesson for anyone who has or ever will take money to make art, it’s never enough. Because whoever said you have to suffer for your art has never suffered.
We may never know who encouraged this two-headed boy to fight these windmills and had the audacity to spit out the most important question of all time “Has anyone ever made a full length stop motion brick film?”
Well the answer is yes... Huxley Berg has.
So without further achoo I present to you.
Lego Deadpool
- Grandfather of Deadpool, MDB
PS
I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO DISNEY, MARVEL AND LEGO. PLEASE DON’T SUE ME! THIS IS A PARODY OF THE FILM!
