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Episode 1 Make America Great Again #maga
#jaepod #comedy #funnypodcast



Opening monologue
Here’s how you can make America great again.
Ready?
Don’t be an asshole! There, end the video. Roll credits.
*fake roll credits*
Don’t be racist.
Don’t be homophobic.
Don’t be xenophobic.
Don’t Rape.
Don’t even get close to Rape.
-JUST THE TIP HUHUHUH
*mocking kid meme*
Don’t abuse animals.
Don’t abuse children.
Don’t tell me to “go back to my country”
AND DON’T TELL ME I LOOK LIKE STEVE AOKI, I FUCKING KNOW. I DIDN”T PLAN THIS OUT, IT JUST GROWS LIKE THIS. *HARD CUT BEFORE FINISH*
Anyway. *faces*
Be dope. As a matter of fact be dope as fuck #dopeAF.
Tell people you love them more often.
Tell people you miss them for no reason.
Especially if they owe you money.
#POWERMOVE
*pretend phone call with voice “ey yo what up widdit*
*Scream* YOU GOT THAT RACK?!
*ring back* *malcoms phone, leave a message unless it’s jae then, you got the wrong number*
You know what’s interesting?
Is that people still believe in this 2 party left vs right bullshit.
NEWSFLASH
It’s top vs bottom, not left vs right.
While the world economy was shut down, The worlds billionaires increased their wealth by…..
10 TRILLION DOLLARS
*asian accent* 10 TRILLION DOLLA!!!!!
I can say it like that, you can’t say it like that.
We call eachother Ninja.
No hard R.
You can’t just be calling US Ninja tho.
Billionaires don’t care about YOU.
But lets look at that statement.
What if you were rich?
would you just give up your land? Your property? Your mules?
Would you be like, I guess I do have an extra 10,000 square feet in my mansion,
We could probably fit some orphans in here.
ORPHANS?
When was the last time you just casually went by an orphanage.
Why is it easier to adopt 6 black cats on Halloween
than it is to adopt 1 black child?
I’m saying, they don’t make it easy.
Listen….If you were a billionaire president, what would you do?
Go in and change all the laws, huh?
to make you and your homies pay and your fair share?
*face*
HELL no
Trump has been straight MERKIN Merica
Gangster.
*$750 on screen*
And with todays inflation, Abraham Lincoln would have paid the equivalent of.
And its really easy to break the laws if you are the one writing them.
You know how much trump has billed the secret service alone
just so he can play golf at his own golf resorts?
1.1 million dollars in private transactions since he took office.
Including a $21,800 cottage rental at his Bedminster club
I’m not gonna lie. That sounds like it was the shit.
R Kelly was probably there, and everyone probably peed on eachother.
And trump was all like “These are very fine people”
Very wet people
WET ASS PEOPLE.
In his first 3 years in office he’s raked in an estimated
1.9 BILLION in revenue.
1.9.
Since he got into office he made a million dollars
One thousand, 900 times.
But how does this Make America Great Again?
Because facts don’t lie
*MOCK*
And corruption doesn’t change.
AND TRUMP IS NOT QANON JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???
You’re telling me that the man who brags about
throwing paper towels at Puerto Ricans during a Hurricaine
Doesn’t say a word about saving children while he’s Twitter ranting 14 hours a day?
Do you know how much time I have to Tweet, as a youtuber, dj, photographer, cat dad?
Like 11 hours.
BUT TRUMP??!!!
I am NOT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES…..
*NEWSFLASH*
And in the last 4 years combined I’ve played exactly 0 holes of golf.
And that includes putt putt, and z tee
*but you binge watched all of Ozark*
Not the last season, the kid was like a year older every episode.
*face*
But NOW we have new faces in the government.
New faces with new ideas
who bring new hope
to the millions of us
who feel like this country isn’t our home.
More people in office that look like….
*AOC pic*
I love HER

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