Hoovering makes it hard to make a clean break from a Narcissist. Breaking free from a Narcissist is much like losing weight; it isn't the initial weight loss (leaving the Narcissist) that is so hard...it's keeping it off. (Not getting sucked back in). Narcissists are master manipulators and even if they discarded you, there's a high degree of certainly the narcissist will circle back around and try to suck you back into the relationship...thus the term HOOVERING.

Narcissistic abusers seem to have a sixth sense about the best time to try to worm their way back into your life. After discarding you and leaving you confused and suffering, it is common behavior for a narcissist to parade themselves and their new supply all over social media, smear your name, threaten you, etc. After all this, the narcissist will circle back around and test the waters to prove to themselves that you are still under their control.

Seduction seems to be a preferred technique of the hoovering game and yet it is certainly not the only one. Hoovering can involve texting, emailing, calling, leaving voice mails, "accidentally" bumping into you, gifting, using another person to get messages to you (flying monkey) baiting you with threats etc. Essentially the Narcissistic abuser tries anything and everything to regain control of you, your emotions, your body, and your life.

When you get even the slightest hint that the old HOOVER has been turned on the best thing to do is batten down the hatches, tighten up your boundaries and your resolve that you will not respond NO MATTER WHAT!

Be especially aware in the final days of a separation just prior to the finalization of a nasty divorce process. The Narcissist might suddenly start stalking you and showing up in places they know you know. Trying to just casually "bump into you" for an opportunity to put on a full court press. You can expect to watch this master of manipulation rapidly cycle through the masks that have appeared over the years. The best thing you can do is RUN as though your very life depends on it, because it does.
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