You mentioned that you have a little boy who's going to be 17 months when you deliver your new baby girl and you're wondering how you can prepare him for it. You're doing well to think ahead. You said that you're only 27 weeks now and there are things you can do in the coming weeks to help him feel better prepared. You are right. He's little and you can't necessarily sit down and have a conversation with him and help him logically understand what's going to happen. But you can involve him in the preparations. Sit down with him and show him baby pictures of himself. You can get a baby doll and show him the things that you're going to be doing with the baby. You can put diapers on the baby, you can get a binky and a bottle and a blanket and teach him how to hold the baby. These are all things that he'll want to do for your baby girl when she's born but if he has a little baby of his own, even though he's a boy, it's helpful because then he can act like he's helping you while doing it for his baby, not for your baby, which can be harmed if he touches her and tries to do the same things to her. There's lots of videos and books out there that you can show him or read to him. Involve him in planning, like when you're talking about what you're going to name her. Talk to him about it and you'll probably find that he has some suggestions that may stick forever because they're just funny and you'll bring them up later. Take him to doctor's appointments with you and let him hear the baby's heartbeat. When you go home, show him the baby's room and the baby's things and when you're packing the diaper bag, he can help you put things in and of course take different things out because that's what little kids like to do. When you introduce them for the first time, don't be surprised if he's not happy. That's okay and that's normal and they will bond over time. He also might be jealous when she comes home and he'll act out and try to get your attention in negative ways. Kids actually prefer any attention to no attention so when the attention's taken off of them, they will do even negative things to get you to pay attention so keep that in mind when you're taking care of your little baby and you see that he's acting out. Make an effort to take special time---set aside time each day just with him. I did this when we had our second and set the timer for 15-20 minutes, however long I felt like I had, and while the baby was sleeping, that was my oldest child's time. We sat down together and we did whatever she wanted to do and she really appreciated that time each day. Also encourage your husband to take your son out and about and do special things with him while you're home with the baby and this through the transition will help him know that he's still loved and needed by you guys. You mentioned that you have some concerns about what you're going to do when you're nursing your baby. Now, it's going to be normal if your son sits on your lab, is curious, and asks questions and wants to lift up the blanket and see what's going on. In words that he can understand, explain to him what's going on and if you breastfed him, you can tell him that, too. You might find it helpful if you take a couple of minutes before nursing your baby to prepare him. Find some toys or something that will distract him so that he'll be busy while you're busy and as your baby gets more efficient at eating, hopefully it won't take as long because, of course, kids have short attention spans. In the days after you've had a baby, do what you can to keep the routine the same for your son and eventually he will make the transition, although those days in the beginning will probably be hard for you and for him. Best of luck with everything and if you have any other questions for me in the future, feel free to ask them on our Facebook page at facebook.com/intermountainmoms and recommend us to your friends and family, too.
