Absalom and His Rebellion (19): David Mourns for Absalom (II Samuel 18:19-33) by Rev. Angus Stewart
I. The Two Messengers
II. The Inordinate Grieving
III. The Instructive Epilogue
A. W. Pink, The Life of David, II:183-184: The hour of emergency is what usually brings to light that which is to be found within us. It is not the ordinary routine of life, but the crises which reveal character: not that the crisis changes or makes the man, but rather that it affords opportunity to display the benefits of previous discipline or the evils of the lack of the same. Therefore it is of little or no use to bid a person control himself or herself when deeply agitated over an unusual experience, for one who has never learned to govern himself day by day cannot begin doing so under exceptional circumstances. Here, then, is the answer to the question, How am I, especially if of passionate nature, to avoid inordinate joy or sorrow? A person cannot change his disposition, but he can greatly modify it, if he will take pains to that end.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Prov. 16:32): it is this ruling of our spirits which is the subject we are attempting to develop: the mind perceiving the needs and the will exerting itself to govern our emotions. Inordinate grief is the outcome of inordinate love, and therefore we need to watch closely over our affections and bring reason to bear upon them. We must discipline ourselves daily and control our emotions over little things, if we are to control ourselves in the crises of life. As the twig is bent, so the bough grows. The longer we allow our passions to run riot, the harder will it be to gain control of them. Much can be done by parents in training the child to exercise self-control and be temperate in all things.
Does not the reader now perceive the practical importance of what has been before us? How many there are who go entirely to pieces when some grief or calamity overtakes them. And why is this? Because they have no self-control: they have never learned to govern their emotions. But can we rule our spirits? Certainly; yet not in a moment, nor by spasmodic efforts, but only by the practice of daily and strict self-discipline. Form the habit, then, of keeping tab on your desires, and check them immediately you find they are going out after forbidden objects. Watch your affections, and bring reason to bear upon them: see that they do not become too deeply attached to anything down here: remember the more highly you prize an object, the more keenly will you feel the loss of it. Seek to cultivate a mild and even disposition, and when provoked, assure yourself such a trifle is unworthy of perturbation. Paul could say, “All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any” (I Cor. 6:12)—that was his own determination.

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