Borderline twin anxieties: abandonment and engulfment
Both put borderline in touch with her schizoid core (emptiness), negates her existence
Approach-avoidance repetition compulsion
Sudden change in behavior:
At the beginning of the relationship, she feels focus of attention and in control (internal locus)
Then, daily life gives rise to the twin anxieties (external locus) and she reacts with acting out (psychopathic self-state).
Dual mothering
In relationships with non-borderlines, narcissist and intimate partners are good enough maternal figures in a shared fantasy (“fake family”).
In relationships with borderlines, the narcissist offers unconditional love and parentifies himself: the borderline is a dead mother and affords him a second chance to fix/heal/rescue/save her and, by extension, himself.

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