----------Want My 1-On-1 Personal Advice?-----------
[ Ссылка ]
-------------Or Watch My FREE Full Tutorial-----------
[ Ссылка ]
You’re watching this video because you want to win arguments with your spouse. I’m here to tell you that you’ve already made a mistake. If your goal is to beat them in an argument, you have the wrong mindset. But don’t worry. In this video I’ll teach you how you can fight smarter, not harder.
Read the blog post version: [ Ссылка ]
One way to prevent fights is to be honest about what is upsetting you.
It’s easy to fight about something small to avoid bringing up a tough issue. But if you don’t let them know why you’re upset then it won’t change.
When you want to raise your voice or snap back in anger, take three deep breaths. Think about what is really upsetting you. There’s a good chance it has nothing to do with your husband or wife so don’t take it out on them. Marriage comes with enough conflict without adding others on top of it.
There are plenty of real reasons for you to be upset and we’ll cover how to address those later on in the video.
If you find that no matter what you do, you can’t stop having huge fights with your spouse and you’re worried that you may be at the breaking point, then it’s time to get outside help. The problem with marriage counselling is that it’s expensive. Not only that but both you and your spouse have to be willing to make an effort. My marriage coaching works a little differently.
I offer a one-on-one approach that allows people to save their marriage and it’s confidential so your spouse doesn’t even have to know. You can ask me any question you want via email and I guarantee a response within 48-72 hours. Go to MarriageGuy.com/coaching to learn more. This works even if your spouse isn’t speaking to you or if they say it’s over. That’s MarriageGuy.com/coaching
Next up, let’s talk about losing fights. You may feel like you’re already losing every fight with your spouse but they probably feel the same way. The couples that have the most conflict are those where neither partner is willing to lose an argument. They won’t back down no matter what. If this sounds like you, then you should rethink your approach.
You’re showing your spouse that you care more about being right than what you’re fighting about. This means that they're never going to see your side of things because you’re never willing to see theirs.
So allow yourself to lose a fight now and again. If it’s something that’s not important to you, give them a win and actually apologize sincerely, don’t just sulk. When your spouse sees you’re able to do this, they’ll be more likely to do the same and when you stand your ground, they’ll know that you’re not just doing it out of pride.
I think one of the best ways to win an argument is by seeing both sides of an issue. If your spouse sees that you understand where they're coming from, even if you don’t agree, then they're going to be more willing to compromise.
This is why it’s really important to listen actively to what they're saying and consider their point of view. Here’s a scenario:
Your spouse is angry that you never take out the garbage.
Instead of telling them they're dead wrong, you do way more housework than they do, say this:
“I can see that you’re angry that I don’t take out the garbage enough. I think I do plenty of other housework but if this is important to you, I’ll make the effort.”
See how you’ve seen their side of the argument and you’ve shown that you’re open to changing your behaviour? Many people avoid this because they don’t want to give any ground. But notice that you haven’t had to apologize or let them win. You just addressed their concern. It’s as simple as that.
With that in mind, before coming at your spouse with some minor annoyance, look deeper and see if it’s part of a bigger pattern that you’re really responding to.
When you’re in a fight, avoid using the word “you”:
You’ll also want to avoid “never” and “always”. These are extreme words that will hurt your argument. If you say “You never listen to me.” then you’re obviously exaggerating.
There you have it. The next time you’re about to explode with anger, take a deep breath and remember these tips and you’ll get what you want without making things worse.
![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/nH57GLN3b4E/maxresdefault.jpg)