Once upon a time, it was a foregone conclusion that the best-performing off-roaders had eight-cylinder engines. Parnelli Jones’ “Big Oly” Ford Bronco featured a grunty 351 Windsor and dominated the 1971 and 1972 Baja 1000 races, the lightweight 3.5-liter Buick V8 found a happy home under the hood of the capable Range Rover Classic, and Chevy’s legendary K5 Blazer got power from a likewise-legendary small block.

Folks, the times they are a-changin', and rugged off-roaders like the Ford Bronco, Toyota 4Runner, and even the luxurious Lexus LX make do with six- and even four-cylinder powerplants. Whither goes the dirt-ripping, baritone-bellowing, V8-powered in today’s sensible, eco-conscious world?

Well, here are three answers. By our completely unscientific metric, we figure the Jeep Wrangler 392, Land Rover Defender V8, and Mercedes G-Class (seen here in AMG G63 form) are the only off-road–capable, high-performance V8 SUVs on the market today, so we had to round them up for a somewhat unconventional comparison test. Our destination? A dry lake bed deep in the California desert. Our mission? Figure out which one of them is the fastest… on dirt… over a quarter-mile drag race. Of course, such a silly objective demanded as much documentation as possible, which is why there’s also a rather fun video embedded up top.

2022 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 392

Engine: 6.4-Liter V8

Output: 470 Horsepower / 470 Pound-Feet

As-Tested Price: $83,965

Rumors of a V8-powered Jeep Wrangler have been around almost as long as the drop-top SUV itself. After years of teasing (and one running concept in 2020) the automaker finally gave us a production version bearing the name Wrangler 392. Featuring the same naturally aspirated 6.4-liter V8 as the Dodge Challenger SRT and Ram Power Wagon, the first V8-powered Wrangler serves up 470 horsepower, 470 pound-feet of torque, and a sky-ripping exhaust note that only comes up short when compared against an SR-71 Blackbird. In terms of noise, nothing else comes close, especially at the Jeep’s $83,965 price as tested (including $1,595 destination)

2022 Land Rover Defender 90 V8
Engine: Supercharged 5.0-Liter V8
Output: 518 Horsepower / 461 Pound-Feet
As-Tested Price: $113,525

The 1997 Land Rover Defender – the nameplate’s last offering in the US – exclusively featured a lusty V8 in conjunction with its rugged capability. So when the new Defender arrived in 2019, we were a bit disappointed that only Land Rover’s (admittedly excellent) mild-hybrid inline-six was the top engine option. That changed for 2022 when the Defender V8 joined the party packing a supercharged 5.0-liter shared with a variety of Jaguar and Land Rover products.

The two-door Defender 90 Carpathian Edition tested here could be the hot rod of the bunch, weighing less than the Mercedes but still packing 518 hp and 461 lb-ft. Land Rover claims the V8 can hit 60 in 4.9 seconds and top out at 149 mph, and the boxy sport-ute is actually pretty smooth and polished on the road. With a short wheelbase, it can feel a bit twitchy, but compared to the Wrangler, the Defender feels like a Dreamliner in terms of straight-ahead stability. That’s what happens when you compare a $113,525 SUV with one that costs 30 grand less.

The Motor1.com staff also universally praised the Defender’s interior quality and styling, with attractive coatings on the plastic parts and durable-feeling technical seat upholstery. The only big exception is the seeming acre of raw sheetmetal inside the front door – it’s clear that the door panel is sized for the Defender 110’s shorter front apertures. Then again, the visible spot welds may add some vintage charm if that’s what you’re into. And if that’s the case, you probably don’t want our tester’s high-maintenance matte paint.

2021 Mercedes-AMG G63
Engine: Twin-Turbocharged 4.0-Liter V8
Output: 577 Horsepower / 627 Pound-Feet
As-Tested Price: $184,500

If money is no object and maximum output is the goal, then the choice is clear – Geländewagen. Mercedes’ boxiest vehicle might very well be its most desirable, finding appeal with everyone from upscale Aspen families to Manhattan club kids. But limiting the Mercedes-AMG G63 to party valets and private school dropoffs should be a sin because this SUV felt like it could set off earthquakes tearing across the California desert. Sixty mph happens in 4.5 seconds, with a top speed of 130 if you’re brave.

Under the hood is our trio’s smallest, yet most powerful, engine – a (now-rare) twin-turbocharged 4.0-liter V8 producing 577 hp and a staggering 627 lb-ft, courtesy of the engineering geniuses from AMG. Affalterbach also breathed on the G-Wagen’s nine-speed automatic transmission, which sends power to all four wheels via manually lockable front, center, and rear differentials. As on the other SUVs, the transfer case also boasts low-range gearing if needed.

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