Title: Breaking Female Virginity Myths
Virginity is what the individual thinks it is. It certainly is for men, who bear no tell-tale signs of lost virginity.” The concept of virginity has an emotional connotation. It is more than just the physical disruption of hymenal tissue. If a young woman has had a sexual relationship with her partner, and she feels that she has lost her virginity, then she has, regardless of what actually happened to her hymen during the encounter. There are ancillary issues that each woman must answer for herself. Here are some of the myths about female virginity.
The concept of female "virginity" has a complicated history, having often been (incorrectly) linked to whether or not a woman's hymen was intact. Bleeding after intercourse was thought to be proof of an unbroken hymen, and thus, proof that a woman had not had sex before. The reality, however, is that the state of your hymen has nothing to do with your sexual activity. As for how to know if your hymen is broken, it's near impossible to see it for yourself. But let's back up and talk about what the hymen actually is.
The hymen is a small, ragged membrane just inside the opening to the vagina. All all hymens are not created equally. So many things other than intercourse can wear the hymen away, including horseback riding, biking, gymnastics, using tampons, fingering, and masturbation. Some women are even born without hymens.
It’s easy to imagine the hymen as a wall or a structure that needs to be broken, sort of like being the first one to cross through the finish line tape in a race. In reality, the hymen is a thin membrane that is just inside the vaginal opening. There are some major problems with the concept of "losing your virginity." That implies that it isn’t in your control. If you lose your phone, is that a conscious decision? No! We need to change how we talk about the first time someone has sex. It shouldn’t be something that someone takes from you.
Finally, what about all those bloody sheets? Rushed, nonsensual, poorly lubricated, piston-like intercourse might abrade sensitive vaginal tissue enough to cause bleeding. But throughout history, in cultures that have insisted on female virginity at marriage, the stakes have been very high. No blood on the sheets deeply dishonored the bride's family and might even bring charges of marital fraud. Many brides have taken no chances. Often under their mothers' direction, they have filed a fingernail to a sharp point and on their wedding night, cut themselves on the thigh, producing enough blood to stain the sheets and satisfy tradition--and the mythology surrounding the hymen.
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