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One of the most effective ways to approach women is to use an environmental approach. An environmental approach allows you to approach women using elements within the natural environment to make a woman feel more at ease. Imagine, for a moment, that you’ve just seen an attractive woman at the gym. You want to approach her, but you don’t know what to say or how to break the ice. Using the environmental approach, there are literally thousands of things you can say to a woman in this situation. An example of an environmental approach in the gym would be to say: “Hey, how’s your workout?” The same environment-specific approach can be used in the supermarket: “Hey, do you know where the [chocolate/milk/fish] is?”
Your approach doesn’t have to be clever or entertaining. Instead, it’s always better to talk to women as though you’re talking to a close friend. Also, take note that women have a propensity to wear interesting trinkets and accessories. They style their hair in unique ways, sport tattoos, and color their nails. The next time you go out in public, take a moment to look at the women around you. What makes her stand out? What is it about her that catches your eye? Is it an item of clothing, her earrings, her hair, or even her shoes? All of these items are talking points that allow you to approach women in a natural and relaxed way. To give you an idea of how this works in practice, consider the following pickup lines as a great way to start a conversation:
— “Nice shoes.”
— “I like your perfume.”
— “That’s a cool tattoo.”
— “That bag looks heavy.”
— “What are you drinking?”
— “That’s my favorite color, I love [insert color].”
Simple, innocuous comments within the context of the woman’s immediate environment work best here. There’s no better way to signal outcome indifference and confidence than a light throwaway comment to disarm a woman and make her feel at ease. Remember, conversation is fluid as opposed to static. That’s why it’s always better to use an approach that can be adapted to your natural environment.
If you approach women in a positive, relaxed way, you communicate strength. But still the issue of what to say looms large. Trying to figure out what to say to a woman when you first meet her and what pickup lines work best is a question that’s plagued men for decades. Now science can finally shed some much-needed insight into the conversation. One study published in the Sex Roles journal found that women prefer it when men approach them with a simple: “Hi” or “Hello.”45 Other effective pickup lines include the honest and direct: “Since we’re both sitting alone, would you care to join me?” or “Do you want to dance?”
Pickup lines such as: “Hey, what’s your sign?” or “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?” were seen as less attractive, disingenuous ways to start a conversation. That being said, you should simply use pickup lines as a way to assess whether or not a woman is interested in talking to you. Watch closely and you’ll notice that a woman expresses all her intentions and desires through her actions. If a woman is open and interested in talking to you, she’ll stop to engage you in conversation; if she isn’t interested, she’ll move away from you—it’s that simple.
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If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.
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Trust yourself and trust the process,
Chris Canwell
