I was flying international, headed back to the USA from Hong Kong. I chose the last row of seats. Some people don't like the last row, but I love it. I always check in online in advance to choose the last row before anyone else does.
I pick the last row mainly because the seat next to me is often empty. The gate agents don't like to assign these seats because they don't recline all the way and the passengers will bitch and complain.
It's a trade off, but if the seat next to me empty, i'll put up with only reclining 70% of the way back. On this particular flight, we were flying from Hong Kong to JFK on an older Boeing 777. The flight crew was a mix of British and Chinese attendants and it seemed like they were having trouble communicating with each other.
Some of the Asian flight attendants couldn't really speak English very well. They seemed to have their own clique while the more British ones formed their own little posse.
The lack of communication was apparent throughout the flight. There was no teamwork within the flight attendant group, more like Team 1 and Team 2. I slept most of the flight (thank you , ambien) but I woke up for the breakfast service before landing. I could tell the flight attendants were behind schedule. Everyone was on edge and they kept running out of things in the aisles.
I thought I was gonna see a flight attendant smackdown because they were at each other's throats so much. At one point, the flight attendant said to her colleague, "I need some orange juice." The few of us that heard it were shocked. We didn't laugh though, the old dragon looked like she was ready to eat us up and spit us out.
Finally, the breakfast service was over and the flight attendants proceeded to roll carts into the aisles to collect garbage. Soon, the carts were filled to capacity and the flight attendants started stacking trays on top of the cart. One flight attendant clumsily tried to push the cart with one hand while holding a teetering stack of 10 trays with the other.
As luck would have it, we hit a bit of turbulence and the stack came tumbling down. Some apple sauce splattered only inches away from one woman's Louis Vuitton bag. Needless to say, the flight attendants were fuming and really cross at each other.
Just then, the Captain came over the PA system to inform us that we would be landing in 20 minutes. The flight attendants were running around the back galley like chickens with their heads cut off. Then, the unimaginable happened.
One of the British flight attendants came over to me. "You look like a nice guy," she said. "We could really use your help. See these cartons of juice, milk, and pots of coffee? Please empty them into the lavatory and flush. We're not allowed to bring open containers into America.
I was shocked. The flight attendants were clearly overwhelmed and asking for my help! In my past life, I had thought about working as a flight attendant, so of course I jumped at the chance. Before I entered the lavatory, I made sure to grab my camera to capture the moment. Opportunities like this don't come up every day!
As you can see, the different liquids mix together to form a witch's brew. While dumping the coffee, I accidentally let the bag drop into the lav as well. Too bad, so sad! I wasn't going to fish it out! Luckily, the powerful vacuum flush took down every drop of the liquid soup!
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