#gaslighting #narcissist #abuse
In this video Psychologist Dr. Becky Spelman offers her expertise on the abusive tactic of gaslighting which is most commonly used by Narcissists.
This video is about Gaslighting and if you watch through to the end Dr. Becky will tell you what to do if anyone ever tries to gaslight you.
Topics covered in this video:
Where does the term gaslighting come from?
What is gaslighting?
Common gaslighting techniques (Withholding, Countering, Forgetting/Denial, Blocking/Diversion and Trivializing)
Why do people gaslight others?
Why do narcissists gaslight people?
Parenting styles linked to people who go on to gaslight.
How parents gaslight their children.
Gaslighting in families.
How Therapists can gaslight people.
Who are victims of gaslighting?
Where is gaslighting most effective?
Gaslighting and domestic abuse.
Gaslighting and the law.
How to prevent gaslighting.
How to deal with gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.
The abuser sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual's mind making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment. Essentially they are being denied what they have seen with their own eyes and know to be true.
Gaslighting behaviour is the result of childhood trauma. Parenting styles linked to developing narcissist personality or narcissistic traits are as follows: neglecting the child emotionally and also cold over-controlling authoritarian parenting. Also over indulging them such as spoiling them with privilege and possessions and promoting entitled attitudes. Or parenting with promotes perfectionism, winning and toughness from a child.
So basically it’s a combination of abuse or neglect along with behaviors that might make a child feel special or entitled and this inconsistent parenting which can lead to developer traits of narcissism. Because of the abusive environment, the child received a message that they are not safe to be vulnerable with other people so the person feels they need to wear a mask at all times which is a psychological defense to feeling vulnerable.
Who is most vulnerable to gaslighting behaviour?
Gaslighting works best when someone is most vulnerable and where intimate relationships are unequal.
How to prevent gaslighting
The first step is to be aware of your own role in being gaslight, the ways in which your own behaviour, desires, and view of the abuser may be leading you to idealize your gaslighter and seek his approval from them.
How to deal with gaslighting.
See the gaslighting, recognizes it for what it is, hold on to your reality don’t let this be swayed by the abuser, don’t try to fight for what you know as the abuser will never agree with you and it's better to step away and protect yourself rather than they stay and fight as your feelings will not be respected.
Please share an example of when you have been gaslighted.
Instagram: @drbeckyspelman
Dr. Becky Spelman is a top Psychologist in London, Becky is the Clinic Director for Private Therapy Clinic which has clinic's based all around central London including; Harley Street, Wigmore Street, Bank, Earls Court & Canary Wharf. Becky uses Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness to treat a range of difficulties with a particular interest in Borderline Personality Disorder and the difficulties that go with this condition such as relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression, low-self esteem, social anxiety, fear of public speaking, fear of intimacy, interpersonal difficulties, anger, body image issues, eating disorders and addictions.
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