3 Year Old Sleep Problems - Help for Anxious Toddlers
2023 UPDATE: Check out my proven & gentle toddler sleep training program here: [ Ссылка ]
Your 3 year old has suddenly started to have sleep problems. Maybe your toddler is worried or scared, and won't go to sleep on their own. Or your 3 year old is waking in the night and coming into your room.
There are lots of reasons why your 3 year old toddler might not be sleeping well. Find out why, and how to fix it here!
Join my Free Masterclass & Learn How to Get Smooth Bedtimes, Quiet Nights & a Child that Loves to Sleep here: [ Ссылка ]
CONNECT WITH JILLY:
Tiktok: [ Ссылка ]
Pinterest: [ Ссылка ]
Instagram: [ Ссылка ]
Facebook: [ Ссылка ]
Blog: [ Ссылка ]
TRANSCRIPTION:
Hi, I’m Jilly from Baby Sleep Made Simple. In this video I’m answering a question sent in by a tired mom, on our Facebook Live Q&A Call. I hope you enjoy it!
“Our 3 year old used to go to sleep on her own in her own bedroom. But recently, she got scared awake in the night by fireworks and thunderstorms. Now she will only fall asleep with her dad lying down next to her in her room. She keeps waking in the night, getting upset and coming into our room. She won’t sleep on her own. What should we do?”
When we’re going to change behaviours and change routines, the first recommendation I always have is to communicate.
You want to sit down with your little one during the day, when she’s happy and she’s rested, and have just a light and upbeat conversation talking about what’s happened. Talking about the thunderstorms, talking about the fireworks and just explore her feelings on it.
See what’s going on, because there could be some fear or anxiety about going to sleep. She was startled awake several times by this. And then, you could just reassure her on exactly what woke her: “It was just the rain”, or, “It was the special fireworks we had that normally happen only once or twice a year. Mommy and Daddy are always here. We’re always checking on you. We’re in the room right next to you. You’re OK. You’re safe.”
Just to remind her exactly what these were, because I think kids’ imaginations can go crazy. They often make it bigger than it is – they think it’s monsters.
After you’ve communicated with her and talked her through her fears and any anxieties she might have, it’s time to remind her: “You’re a big girl. You’re 3 years old. You’re going to go back to sleeping in your room and Mommy and Daddy back to sleeping in our room.”
Then, I would set some expectations for what’s going to happen. Just remind her how she used to sleep and then I would let that be the expectation.
Normally I would always say to start at bedtime. Because the way a child falls asleep at bedtime is the way they expect to fall back to sleep when they wake up throughout the night. So you could start at bedtime. Your husband could sit with her. You said he lies down with her. I wouldn’t lie down any more. From now on, I would have him sit up right next to her bed tonight, in a chair or on the edge of her bed. I wouldn’t have him lying down. It’s making gradual changes. You want to slowly wean her off him – wean him out of the room! I’d have him sit on her bed or on a chair until she falls asleep tonight.
The second night, I would move the chair a few feet away. On the third night, I’d have the chair be in the doorway. After that, he can give her a kiss, sing her a lullaby and say, ‘I’ll be back in 2 minutes. I’m just going to get a glass of water. I’m going to go flip the laundry.” Have him pop out of the room for a good minute or two. And then come back and see how she’s doing. Give her another kiss on the cheek, tell her, “Good night. I’m just going to feed the dog. I’ll be back in 2 minutes.”
You want to keep doing that. You want to keep popping out of the room, because it’s important that she falls asleep on her own. Always come back, but you might just want to pop your head in the doorway. You don’t have to make a big scene. Eventually she’ll get used to it. She knows you’re always there. She knows you’re always coming back, which is super important. And then you’re going to go back, and she’ll be asleep! It’s going to be great.
For the night wakings, as soon as she comes into your room, I would go straight back into her room and do the exact same steps you did at bedtime.
If she comes into your room, then just walk her back into her bedroom, have her lie down and then just sit where you were sitting at bedtime. If you were already popping in and out of her room, then I would just tuck her back in, sing her a lullaby, kiss her on the head and say, “I’m just going to use the bathroom. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Something that she’s used to.
