#News #CherylBurke #MatthewLawrence #RedTableTalk
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Cheryl Burke talks about the trauma she has faced throughout her life. In the latest episode of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk, the 38-year-old Dancing With the Stars professional recounts his personal history of abuse and toxic relationships.
It all started when she was two years old, when her parents divorced, Burke says. "The first thing I remember as a kid was seeing my father with another woman," says Burke.
Then, a few years later, Burke's family hired a retired postman to babysit him, in his late 60s. Burke claims that man started grooming her when she was five years old.
"It wasn't a relationship. It was other things, sexual acts, but I was never physically hurt. There were some moments … [here] didn't feel bad. It was actually intimate," explains Burke. "He was grooming me and he was my definition of love. That was the equivalent of love, wasn't it? I didn't know or didn't know about my father's infidelity, his abuse by this old retired postman, and what a truly 'healthy' relationship was.
"I didn't have a stable father figure in my life. It's like brainwashing those moments of your childhood that really mattered," she continues. "This happened for years, and no one said anything except my sister's friend, who did the right thing, rushed home to tell her parents, and then they contacted my family. I actually testified against her at the age of nine, I testified against her to believe."
Amidst all the commotion, Burke says, "Thank God you danced. It saved my life." Yet even this was not a completely safe place.
"Within this industry of the competitive ballroom world, it's the world of men. Man leads, woman follows, on and off the dance floor," he says. "With that comes abusive partners and abusive coaches. Have there been acts of sexual harassment and mental harassment? One hundred percent. Am I getting this new? Yes, of course, as long as I keep doing the work."
Later, in high school, Burke claims she "dated two guys who were physically and emotionally abusive on a very different level."
"For me, love was tantamount to abuse. Love was tantamount to infidelity. Love was tantamount to manipulative, narcissistic behavior," Burke says, before saying he was whipped with a belt.
"It wasn't like he was hitting me. He was whipping me. But I could see those marks and I was even like, 'Oh, that's not really there,'" he claims. "I think I was in shock and I fought, fled or froze. He got in my car, jumped in his car, kept punching the back of my car to pull over, and I wasn't allowed. Guys, let alone dancing. I wasn't allowed to stay on after-school shows, or even look at anyone, God forbid."
“It's because of this person who's very controlling,” Burke continues. "It didn't stop my relationship with him because 'Oh, everything's going to be okay.' "I was addicted to it. That's what I'm trying to reprogram in my brain, that constant adrenaline rush I'm addicted to. It's not sustainable."
As Burke has said before, this pattern of harassment didn't stop until she started dating her now-ex-husband Matthew Lawrence in 2006. Burke and Lawrence worked intermittently for several years before tying the knot in 2019. The couple separated in February and divorced in September. Now Burke says he got married because he thought it would "determine my worth."
“We dated when I first started in 2006, and then we took a ten-year hiatus and dated again,” she says. "She's my ex for a reason, isn't she? But at the same time, I guess, for me -- and it has nothing to do with my ex -- I wanted to see if I could get married because there was a lot of this internal stuff. "Am I good enough?"
Finally, Burke says, "There's also a point where I have to put myself first. I owe it to myself."
Burke is determined to maintain his four years of sobriety as he embarks on his new chapter, though it's not always easy.
"It's not easy right now. Especially during this divorce," she says to stay sober. "...I didn't ask for that. You know, my parents divorced and I would have loved to have divorced. That wasn't the plan, certainly. I'm not proud of it. Of course. But there's also a point where I have to put myself and my sobriety first."
When ET spoke to Burke in May, he considered the end of his marriage.
“People evolve, and people sometimes unfortunately leave,” Burke told ET. "I think that's what happened unfortunately, and that's why I was able to maintain a kind of peace within myself knowing that we both tried, that we just didn't give up. I think it's okay."
“I have to accept him for who he is, or maybe you can have a marriage where not everyone is happy,” she added. "I definitely don't want to feel stagnant."
For now, Burke says he "prefers not dating", which is "easier said than done."
“There's a difference between being alone and being alon
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