🚨Harsh Truth🚨

There are many reasons couples sleep separately:

⚠️child care issues
⚠️illnesses
⚠️ work schedule issues
⚠️snoring
⚠️hot sleepers
⚠️sleep apnea
⚠️IBS
⚠️precious sleepers
⚠️muscle/nerve pain
⚠️restless leg, etc

These are real problems that must be dealt with not brushed aside. They may indicate significant underlying health issues that need to be treated.

Experiencing these can be a major stressor + inconvenience to you both, but it’s important to preserve the health of your relationship as a priority.

It’s imperative that you see these issues as external threats to your stability + health as a couple + an individual, not build resentment towards the symptomatic partner.

When we’re under stress it can be easy to project our frustrations onto our partner, especially when their difficulties are what’s causing the stress.

But blaming/shaming are never okay + you may not realize that you’re doing it. It’s also common that the symptomatic partner blames/shames themselves, feels guilty + ostracizes themselves.

This can be a symptom of people pleasing + self limiting beliefs e.g. “I have to earn love,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m unlovable.”

It’s important for couples to turn toward each other + address the problem together in a unified front.

What’s best for the relationship is going to be time sensitive + contextual but don’t lose sight of the bigger picture:

👉🏽Your relationship health must stay your No. 1 priority against all other commitments, barring unreasonable threats to your own health.

You may think barriers to your sleep (listed above) warrant sleeping in separate spaces, but this should be a temporary measure to respond to immediate crisis + not the norm.

There are many benefits of sleeping
in the same bed:

🔅oxytocin, dopamine + serotonin release (bonding)
🔅lowers cortisol
🔅increases safety/security
🔅better sleep quality
🔅schedule/circadian rhythm synching
🔅lowers blood pressure
🔅reduces inflammation
🔅strengthens immune system
🔅enhances cohesion, connection
+ emotional intimacy
🔅symbolic of the marital union

You can overcome the problem as a team!

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Welcome to the Sweet Spot🎯

I'm Dr. Taylor Burrowes, Vetting + Relationship Expert & retired therapist
@taylorburrowes 👋🏽

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🤓 I’m a retired mental health counselor & marriage, couples and family therapist and now work as a vetting and relationship expert coaching/consulting men and women to become their ideal self, create their ideal life and cultivate ideal relationships.

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