HOW TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL PROTEGE
- Bishop David Oyedepo
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So how do you prepare for your meeting with your mentor? Here are 6 tips to help you get your mentoring
relationship off on the right foot:
1. Be Prepared
Prepare yourself for your meeting with anything agreed upon and with an issue to discuss that’s important to
you. There is always something to discuss since events have occurred between the current meeting and the last
one. The issue need not be monumental--sometimes simple things can lead to great discussions and insights.
2. Think Commitment, Not Lip Service
Regular, ongoing contact is one of the most important building blocks for successful mentoring. Agree with your
mentor to meet on a regular and ongoing basis and avoid canceling appointments.
3. Give back and get more
Mentors don’t usually ask how the mentoree has benefitted from the relationship. Take the time to share
examples and to say “thank you” on occasion, and you’ll often find that the mentor will give more without your
having to ask. Sharing how a mentor has been helpful in the past gives the mentor guidance on how to be
helpful in the future.
4. Keep Expectations Realistic
Unstated assumptions or expectations can easily derail a relationship. To avoid this, you and your mentor
should both discuss your expectations of each other and the relationship. For example, discuss how often you’ll
meet or what areas you will work on. When there’s a change in expectations, discuss this as well. Relationships
grow and change and so do expectations, so those agreed upon early on may not be the same later. Have
periodic conversations to discuss your mutual expectations.
5. It’s Risky, But it’s Healthy
A mentoring relationship is not meant to make you comfortable with where you are. It should challenge you
both professionally and personally. This can’t happen unless you’re willing to take risks. What kind of risks?
Whatever makes sense, but things like discussing your lack of confidence, challenging a mentor on an issue,
trying something completely outside your comfort zone are all examples. Taking risks is an integral part of
growth and well-being. So by taking risks, you’re actually getting healthier!
6. Don’t Be Afraid of Your mentor’s Silence
You’re in a mentoring session and you seem to run out of things to say, and your mentor isn’t helping because
all she or he is doing is keeping quiet. This is a good thing! Your mentor’s silence is inviting you to probe more
deeply into what is on your mind, and it’s an opportunity to share more deeply in the relationship. In this
situation, pause and look inside yourself to try and get at what is of immediate concern or on your mind and
share that with your mentor. The possibilities of what may happen are endless.

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