My Favorite Star Trek Vignettes
The Original Series, Episode 1E19 Tomorrow is Yesterday, Stardate: 3113.2
FELLINI: Now, look, Mister. You and I had better start communicating. I want to know how you got in here. That's a simple question. Give me a simple answer. Nobody saw you. You got all the way inside without tripping any alarm. How did you do it?
KIRK: Believe me, Colonel, you wouldn't believe me.
FELLINI: Don't try to be funny. How did you get in?
KIRK: I popped in out of thin air.
FELLINI: You seem to think this is some kind of a game.
KIRK: No, Colonel. I know it's no game.
FELLINI: All right. What did you say your name was?
KIRK: For the fourth time, my name is James T. Kirk.
FELLINI: And how did you get inside a top security installation, James T. Kirk?
KIRK: I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
KIRK: Colonel, would you mind being careful with that?
FELLINI: That worries you a little bit, huh? What is that, a radio? Transmitter of some kind?
KIRK: Of some kind.
FELLINI: You can be more specific than that, Kirk. I don't like mysteries.
KIRK: If you don't stop being careless with that, you'll have one. A big one.
FELLINI: I'll have it disassembled and examined. We are not dummies, mister. We know how to find out things we want to know. (tosses it to the guard standing nearby) What is that? Is that a uniform of some kind?
KIRK: This little thing? Just something I slipped on.
FELLINI: Kirk, maybe you don't realize how serious this is. Sabotage of a government installation
KIRK: Did I sabotage something?
FELLINI: No. We stopped you in time. But what would you have done if we hadn't found you?
KIRK: Believe me, Colonel, nothing at all.
FELLINI: Is that what you're here for? Nothing at all?
KIRK: That's what would have happened if you hadn't interfered.
FELLINI: All right, Kirk. Maybe this will make you laugh. Sabotage, espionage, unauthorized entry, burglary. How are those for starters? And I can think up lots more if you don't start talking.
KIRK: All right, Colonel. The truth is, I'm a little green man from Alpha Centauri. A beautiful place. You ought to see it.
FELLINI: I am going to lock you up for two hundred years.
KIRK: That ought to be just about right.
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