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When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too?

Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and the Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.

Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation raised to “have it all,” Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under-employed, and overwhelmed. Instead of being heard, they were told instead to lean in, take “me-time,” or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order.

In Why We Can’t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X’s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss—and keep the next generation of women from falling in. The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential reading for all middle-aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.
I loved every word of this book. It was so fascinating and like looking into a mirror. All generations face challenges but it was validating and eye opening to read issues that uniquely define Gen X women. The book was equal parts encouraging and depressing, but felt redemptive in the end. Gen X women are resilient, hard working, tough, reliable, loyal, team players. It’s funny to overlay the generational differences exposed by Covid on her theory - fits perfectly. Read it, and when you do, call me, and we can have our own book club convo

I am planning to buy this book for all of my friends who are Gen X. So much of it resonated with me! The premise is that our generation was told we could "have it all" and then hold themselves to impossible standards that cause stress and anxiety. I really appreciated how deftly she used research with examples from real women and bits of pop culture. There is even a playlist at the end! A caveat: I do think this book is written for white middle class women, though she claims she interviewed women of all demographics.


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