music & lyrics by John Raymond Barker
from his debut album, Our First Christmas Together

The Pickle on the Tree (5:43)

Chorus
Try and find my pickle on the tree
The first to find it gets a special present from me
My pickle is hard to find because it’s so well hung
So hurry up and grab it before this song is sung

Supposedly it was an old German tradition
The last ornament on the ol’ Christmas tree hung
The first child to find it got a Christmas addition
An extra present, a treat, or a year of good fortune

Well weirdly, in Deutschland, not a single male or female
Had heard of this very odd quirk. Huh!
It seemed something afoul was behind this whole tale
That they cleverly coined Weihnachtsgurke

Chorus

Well then it was said that the pickle began with a prisoner in the Civil War
He begged of his guards to spare one final wish as truly it seemed death was lurkin’
And the joy that he felt gave his life great renewal
All because of the gift of the gherkin

When he got back home to his family
He was filled with such glee
That he started the tradition
Of the pickle on the tree

Spoken: No.

Chorus

There’s also the grim tale of the three traveling boys
To rest for the night, they stopped at an inn
Where an evil, thieving innkeeper with no Christmas joys
Dragged them to a pickle barrel and stuffed their dead bodies in

Well that very same night as coincidence enjoys
At the inn, came the real St. Nicholas
He found and brought back to life those three little boys
A charitable act so miraculous

Spoken: Nope

Sung: Try and find my pickle on the—

Little Kid: Found it!

Spoken: No, that’s not a pickle. That’s two peas in a pod.

Little Kid: Aww

Spoken: Let’s continue!

Well come to find out in the 1880s,
Woolworths was selling vegetable ornaments made out of glass
And they may have made up stories to trump up their sales
False advertising so loony and crass
_
And the way these legends blew up
Gives me such a good tickle
The fact is that every so often my dear
A pickle is just a pickle

If you think you know more about pickles
Than those who live in Berrien Springs
You’d surely be wrong for it was a big dill
They thought the pickle the king of the kings

Chorus

Little Kid: Found it!

Spoken: Yes!

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