🤣 BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - A woman decided to breastfeed her baby on the bus... | Funny Daily Jokes
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👇 THE JOKE 👇
Joke 1.
A man was riding on a bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
Joke 2.
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"
"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money.
Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."
"Dolphins" the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need 10 grand right now or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp."
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.
When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….
"For the last time dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals.....
NOT dolphins!"
Joke 3.
My new girlfriend has the same first name as my sister.
Which is quite odd, because now, when we have sex, I think about my girlfriend.
Joke 4.
What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?
One has a cunning array of stunts...
Joke 5.
Most important body part..
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who is in charge.
Brain said "I should be incharge because I run all the body's systems. So without me, nothing would happen"
Blood said "I should be incharge because I circulate oxygen all over the body. Without me you all will waste away"
Stomach said "I should be incharge because I process food give you energy"
Leg said "I should be incharge because I carry the body wherever it needs to go"
Eye said "I should be incharge because I see wherever the body goes"
Finally the rectum said "I should be incharge because I do all the waste removal"
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulet him. So in a huff he shutdown tight.
Within a few days, brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, eyes were watery, and the blood was toxic. So they all decide the rectum could be the boss.
Moral of the story - Even though others do all the work, Asshole is alway incharge.
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