Sian shares some of what she learnt when providing end-of-life care for her father as he was dying of lung cancer. Her father wanted to die at home,with as much autonomy and dignity as he could. Sian made the decision to resign her job and to move in with him to provide his palliative care. She talks frankly about what she could have managed better, and the things that helped. Even though she had a good support network, she believes she could have used it better - and talked to more people outside of the intense, quite enclosed situation about just how demanding it was.

Dealing with her own feelings of grief and upset at watching someone she loved suffering and staying objective enough to manage the situation well in terms of her father’s care was a difficult balance to find.

She suggests that if you find yourself in a similar situation, you try and make sure your self-care and the professional and personal support you are getting is as strong as you can make it. A good example of this is how easy it is to become focussed on feeding the person you are caring for, while neglecting your own diet. But for a situation to be sustainable, you have to make sure you take care of yourself she says, because if you burn out or become ill yourself, you will of little use to those you are caring for. Get ALL the help you can, in terms of nursing care and other support - you will do better if you get enough sleep and time to deal with your own needs as well.

She stayed with her father until the end, and he had his wish to die in his bed fulfilled. Her take away? If you feel called to offer this care, don’t be afraid, but do pace yourself, care for yourself, and get all the help you can.

свернуть