I've been wanting to talk about how prominent of an issue I see this being in the metal community and nobody really talks about it. If you are a girl and hate my content, I really don’t blame you! I had a very poor representation in the community that needs reflection and correcting.
Keep in mind I am now 20 years old now and not a 15 year old bitch anymore. I’ve grown from this.
The need everyone feels to some extent of validation of self or in a community goes along with this, but in male dominated communities, there tends to be alot of girl on girl elitism when we really should be sticking together. This video is also reflecting on my past self and toxic traits.
To the women watching this video, I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences about this topic!
When you are young and getting involved in a scene where you are a minority figure in some sense, it's like an uphill battle to find your place or find a voice. When I was 14 and getting involved in the metal community I figured since I didn't fit the attractive mold of other grown women in the scene I felt less valid. Well, mainly because I had a very low self esteem about how I looked. I decided to harness my jealousy and think of these women on social media who were very beautiful and fashionable as posers to justify my lack of outward validity. The beauty standards women face have roots in every community we take part in. I would see all the likes and comments they were getting because they were so attractive, I would justify in my mind that they only dressed like that for male approval and attention.
I had poor experiences prior to this mindset because of toxic girl groups I was part of in middle school, and growing up with no friends, I assumed most girls were dramatic and attention seeking.
So I started identifying more with boys because I thought there would be less drama involved. lol, little did I know at the time..
Back then, I didn't see many other metal girls making content on youtube. So I assumed I was one of the only girls doing this stuff. Once I started looking at the scene on instagram I realized "Oh, my ego is hurt. I'm not that valid." I started feeling jealous.
Keep in mind, puberty was just hitting me and I looked fugly as hell which really crippled my self worth. Many of Us women feel indoctrinated into the belief that our beauty is our only worth in this world. Especially being a kid exposed to the standards in the media.
You see this with gamer girls hating on the other gamer girls who dress like belle delphine.
Just because someone fits an attractive mold with makeup and fashion doesn't make them a less valid figure in a community. We need to start looking at people's moral characters instead of how they look. We are all here for the same reason: we like and identify with this music. Lets keep it that way.

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