Mom, I have a huge problem. I love him, but my boyfriend just annoys me now.
What do you mean you love him, but he's annoying.
Yeah, he's like a new puppy. I love him because he's so cute, but all his howling and whining is annoying.
So what is annoying about him?
Well, the fact that he is always so into himself more than me is super annoying.
Men do that honey. I mean you should see your dad when he gets new boxers for his birthday. He's all over the mirror.
Mom! Gross!
Well, I'm just trying to relate. Is that all?
No, he joined some kind of clan thing on a game on Xbox, and puts on these noise cancellation headphones where he can't hear me. Seriously I had to throw the oven mitt at him to get him to answer me the other day.
Ah, video games. Your dad used to do that when we were in college. I would just put on some skimpy clothes and walk around the apartment. He usually got the hint.
I don't think I want to talk to you about this anymore.
What? Why?
Mom, you have good ideas, but the visuals that I'm getting from all this are sure to add some psychological problems that can only be cured with years of therapy.
Oh come on. I'm just trying to help.
I know mom, but I think you're making it worse.
One more chance. What else is bothering you?
Well, okay. Every time I get up in the morning I go to use the bathroom and sit down only to find that there are little sprinkles all over the toilet seat from him not lifting it.
Ew. That was a problem your father had to.
Well, how'd you fix it because there is no way to make that sexy.
Well, I told him that if I had to sit on the toilet seat like that then I wasn't going to sit on his.
Stop!
What?! I was going to say his side of the bed and rub his back anymore. He loved that, and threatening to take it away did the trick.
Alright mom. Good talk.
